The Personal Development Blog

There is a saying that what goes around, comes around. Some call it karma.

I have given a lot of thought into this lately. When can I say that I have done something truly unselfish? If I do someone a favour, do I expect something in return? I would say that in most cases I do. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that this isn’t the right way to think about it.

Karma is believed to be the sum of all that a person has done. It makes you responsible for your own life. If you’re not satisfied with it, take a honest look at your own past (and present). What do you find? Have your acts been mostly unselfish, or mostly selfish? Every act is like a seed. Depending on which type of seeds you’ve planted, the fruits can taste bitter or they can taste sweet.

I for one, know very well how fruits from bad seeds can taste.

Most of us have been given the freedom choose how we lead our lives. The next time you do something for another person, try to analyze your thoughts around it. Be honest. Ask yourself: “Why am I doing this?”
If your answer is “to make someone happy” or “to be a better person”, you’ve nothing to worry about. If your answer is “to get something in return” or “to get even”, you should see a red light flashing before your eyes.

If we could quit complaining when we are asked for favours, and start doing them with a smile, I think the world would be a better place. We would have better marriages, better friendships and better relationships with our colleagues at work.

My own goal for the future is to do more for others without having to be asked to do it.

What goes around, comes around.

Where do you spend most of your time in your mind? In the past, in the present or in the future?

Most people are using way to much energy dwelling on the past, or worrying about to the future. If more energy was invested in the present, the past and the future would look very different for millions of people.

The past cannot be changed, but the present and the future can. To change our future we must change the way we live in the present. It is normal to have regrets about choices we have made in the past. But the past is unchangeable, therefore it would be natural to assume that if we change the way we live in the present, we would have fewer regrets about the past in the future. Does that make sense?

Life is an endless chain of choices. Every second of every day we make choices. Most of them are done by the unconscious mind. The problem is that we often knowingly make wrong decisions. We do this just to be more comfortable in the present.

Example:
I have some extra bodyweight I want to get rid of. I complain about it a lot. Still, I make the wrong decisions all the time. I choose to eat more than I really need to. I choose to sit in the couch and watch television most of the night.

So what can I expect from the future if I continue to make the same choices? Well, it is pretty obvious that the pounds will keep adding on. Often it is necessary to sacrifice some comfort in the present to feel better in the future. What would happen if I made a commitment to eat smaller portions of food and to get out jogging three nights a week for the next year? In the beginning I would feel a little uncomfortable while doing it. But if I could stick with it, it would get easier and easier. I know that if I make the choice to workout regularly, the future will look totally different regarding my weight and overall shape.

This can be transfered to all aspects of life: Work, lovelife, money, friends etc.

What can YOU do different in the present to change YOUR future?

Trackposted to Outside the Beltway, The Virtuous Republic, Perri Nelson’s Website, Right Truth, Big Dog’s Weblog, The Pet Haven Blog, DragonLady’s World, Stuck On Stupid, The Amboy Times, Leaning Straight Up, Adeline and Hazel, Pursuing Holiness, Right Celebrity, third world county, Stageleft, stikNstein… has no mercy, Pirate’s Cove, The Pink Flamingo, Dumb Ox Daily News, Right Voices, Right Pundits, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, Exposing the Neo-Right, Committees of Correspondence, The Random Yak, DeMediacratic Nation, 123beta, Maggie’s Notebook, Webloggin, Cao’s Blog, The Pet Haven, Conservative Cat, Diary of the Mad Pigeon, Alabama Improper, The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, The World According to Carl, Blue Star Chronicles, Planck’s Constant, High Desert Wanderer, The Yankee Sailor, and Gone Hollywood, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

The main point of personal development is… eeh… well, to develop our selves. Hopefully for the better.

But how do we develop as human beings? And how can we know that we are going in the right direction?

Everyone, who’s in their right mind, can differ right from wrong. But from time to time we need to evaluate our selves.
If you are uncertain if a new behavior of yours is doing you any good, ask yourself the following two questions:

- What are my intentions?
- How do others react?

It is crucial that you are totally honest when you answer these questions. Let’s say you have a goal to quit bragging. What are your intentions for doing so? Is it because you want others to like you better? Is it because you want to be a better person?

How do people react when you change? If they start to interact with you in a more positive way, that would probably tell you a lot. If they start telling you more about them selves that’s a really good sign. Braggers have a tendency to turn conversations towards them selves, making people less unreserved to open up.

There is, of course, no rules without exeptions. If you hang out with a bunch of negative people, you need to change your environment.
How do strangers react to you? Strangers have no idea of what to expect from you, and therefore their reactions will be more honest.

If you have any experience using computer software, you’ll know that the developers constantly work to make it better. Every once in a while you get reminders that a new version is available for download. If they aren’t entirely sure about the changes they’ve made, they will first release a beta version. If the beta version of the software gets good reviews from the users, they will release it as version 2.0.

You can do the exact same thing. If you are uncertain if a change is for the better, release a beta version of yourself. If it’s well received, stick to it. If the reactions are negative, go back and try something else.

Don’t you think it’s time to release, at least a beta version, of You 2.0?

Aaron Potts, the webmaster of Today is that Day has just launched a new community site. I have just signed up myself and it looks very promising so far. It’s a great opportunity to network with people similar interests as yourself.

My guess is that this is going to be huge. If you are seriously interested in personal development you should definitely consider to join.

Be sure to add me as a friend when you get there. My username is Jarleh.

You can sign up here:

Personal Development Partners

 

When I first started this blog (not a very long time ago:) I wasn’t completely sure if I would be able to write posts on a daily basis. And for the first few weeks I didn’t. But after a while, when the comments started coming in and I realized that someone actually reads what I write, my writing started to pick up.

I feel some kind of a responsibility for my readers. Now I have made a pledge to myself that I will write at least one new post every weekday. That’s about 300 a year. When I sit down to write, I don’t always know what I’m going to blog about. But when I’m finished I always have a result in front of me. The quality will not always be great. But for me that’s a big part of being a blogger. Sometimes I’m satisfied with my writing, and sometimes not. But most of the time I choose to publish the post anyway. By doing that it is much easier for both the readers and myself to notice the progression of the blog. If you write a lot, the quality of your writing will improve. That’s just the way it is.

When I write posts for this blog, I often have to do some kind of research. Not only the kind of research where I read articles and blog posts. I also have to do research on me. I am learning something new about myself every day. And that is what personal development is all about. If you get to know yourself on a deeper level, you’ll become more sure of yourself.

Right now this blog is my most important tool for my own personal development.

If you are serious about your self development you too should start writing. I doesn’t have to be a blog. You can keep a personal journal that is for your eyes only. If you don’t know what to write about, you can always just sum up your day. When you have developed the habit of writing every day, it will become much easier. Write down what you like and what you don’t like. If you write down your opinions on different topics, it will also become easier to express them out loud.

If you are thinking about starting your own blog, but aren’t quite there yet, you should read Just one post by Seth Godin.

Darren Rowse at Problogger make some very good points on how to be a better writer in his post “How to Write Home Run Posts”.

I’ve just read the article “How Your Mind Really Works” over at Steve Pavlinas blog. Steve is widely known for his long and detailed articles, but this one you should read from beginning to end. Some of the points he makes are right to the point. You just know that what he writes is true.

Basically, what he wants to tell you in the article is that the smarter get smarter. You gain experience through experience. If you want to be able to solve your problems you got to go out there and gain new experiences. By doing that you activate your associative memory. It would be hard for you to solve even the simplest of problems if you have never experienced anything you can connect with it. Your brain needs background data.

If you have a problem written down in swedish, you’ll never even know that there is a problem (unless you are from Sweden or have learned the language). The fact is that you don’t have to know swedish in order to be able to solve the problem. If you know one of the related languages, danish or norwegian, your brain will have enough background data to interpret the problem. This is how associative memory works. Everything is related to something else (like links on the internet). If you never leave your house, your experience will be limited, and your ability to solve problems outside the house will probably suck.

Steve uses Leonardo da Vinci as a good example. He is considered to be a genius at many many different fields. Steve thinks that he was able to pull this of by exposing himself to a rich variety of input. I think da Vinci also was blessed with an incredible brain that was able to process this input in an extraordinary way.

I have previously written an article that points out how important it is to constantly experience new things. You can read it here: Live like you’re going to die tomorrow.

 

 Life is like the road. Sometimes you know exactly where you are going and how far it is. Other times you will find your self lost, and will have to ask for directions.

Depending on where you want to go in life the, roadsigns will often show you the right way to go. When you get to a crossroad the trafficlights will tell you what to do. If you see a big red light, just stop and take a break. If you do not follow the rules of the road, you could accidentally run someone over. You might even find your self in a wrecked car. 

What we all should have is a GPS. If you have a GPS you will allways know the best and the shortest ways to get to your destination. There are many different brands of the GPS. You must determine wich one is right for you. When you have chosen your GPS, you must program it into your head. Read everything you can find about it. Knowledge is the ultimate software for your brain. If you regularly update your software you will also gain the extra horse powers you will need when you are facing a steep hill.

Sometimes your GPS will take you to a sideroad. You will still get to your destination. It will just take a little more time.

Pay attention to the speed limit. If you are on a narrow dirt road, slow down. When you get back to the highway you can increase the speed again. You see, if you go through your whole life on full throttle, you will have fun for a while. But only as long as your car can take it, or until you hit something or someone.

 

Me and my partner, Marianne, just got our selves a dog a few months ago. It is a Schipperke, a miniature version of the Belgian Shepherd dog. I have, with great interest, noticed some of the characteristics of the Schipperke. There are actually a few great qualities we can learn from observing it.

As you probably can see from the picture he (his name is Aro) is a small dog, but he has the proportions of a normal sized one. The average weight of this breed is only 6.5 kgs (14.3 lbs).
The first of his characteristics I think we can learn from is this:

- He does not care about his size. It really does not affect him at all. If we take him for a walk and meet someone with a larger dog, he gets treated like an equal by the larger dog. How can that be? My conclusion is that size does not matter. Would it not be great if we humans could look at our selves the same way?

You can choose how you face the challenges of life. You can choose to be submissive or you can choose to be self confident about it. You might not think that this is true, but it really is. Self confidence does not come natural for everyone, but everyone can learn it. A person with a low self esteem will never get the same respect from others as one that is sure of him/her self. If you want others to look up to you and listen to your opinions, you have to train your self how to be self confident. Never show fear.     

Another thing I have noticed about Aro is this:

- He is independent and curious. He is constantly looking for action and not afraid to walk into unknown territory. Every day he wants to go a little further from the house than the day before. He is an explorer.

You too should be an explorer. Would it not be a great thing to experience something new every day? The thing is that you will have to be a seeker. New experiences does not automatically come to you. You must systematically seek for it. If you spend all your time within the safe domain of your own home you will miss out on a lot of valuable experiences. If there is something you have always wanted to do, go and do it today. Be curious!

Here is one last quality I have noticed that Aro has:

He is extremely loyal. This dog would never leave you behind. One of the most important rules, when it comes to friendship and family, is loyalty. Without loyalty there can’t be any true friendships. You should be loyal to everyone that means something to you. That does not mean that you can not disagree or even argue with them. It just means that you must know where your loyalties lie when a storm breaks loose. And your friends and family should know it too.

So, there you have it. I think these are all good qualities that we could learn from. Of course Aro also has a few not so good qualities (haven’t we all? :-)), but I’m not going to mention those in this article.

Trackposted to Right Pundits, Outside the Beltway, The Virtuous Republic, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, Perri Nelson’s Website, The Random Yak, Azamatterofact, DeMediacratic Nation, Right Truth, Adam’s Blog, Maggie’s Notebook, Webloggin, Leaning Straight Up, Cao’s Blog, The Amboy Times, The Bullwinkle Blog, Conservative Cat, Pursuing Holiness, Rightlinx, third world county, Allie Is Wired, stikNstein… has no mercy, Pirate’s Cove, Blue Star Chronicles, Planck’s Constant, The Pink Flamingo, Right Voices, The Yankee Sailor, OTB Sports, and Gone Hollywood, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

One of the big facts of life is that we are certain about the outcome of it. A well known news anchor here in Norway fell to the floor and died yesterday. It happened while he was at work. Apparently his heart just stopped beating. He was 58 years old.

People die this way every day, but we don’t notice it. It doesn’t make it any more or less sad when it is a person you can see on the news every night. But it certainly makes me more aware of the fact that life is fragile. We just don’t know when the same thing could happen to our selves.

So what can we do about this? Well, one thing we can do is to start paying more attention to how we lead our lives. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Sit down and write a list of things you want to experience. Try to experience at least one new thing every day. If you knew you were going to die tomorrow what would you do today? What did you miss out on? Go and do it.

Be a person others can lean on. Smile to everyone you meet and I can guarantee that you will gain many new friends as time passes. Friends and family are fuel for your engine. What would life be if you had to live it all alone? Sharing experiences is what life is all about.

Say no when someone ask you to do something you don’t want to do. It can be hard if you’re not used to it. But if you do this one thing you will soon discover that people start to respect you more. Speak up when you have an opinion. People will listen to your opinions. The more you do it the more they will listen.

Have no regrets when you grow old. If you’re not old yet that is a hard thing to do, you say? Actually it’s not that hard. You know when you, in certain situations, hear that voice in the back of your head? Like when you meet the man/woman from your dreams. Would you not wonder what might have happened if you just talked to him or her? You will never know if you don’t do it.

Life is just an endless chain of choices. Some choices insignificant and some are life changing. Once you have made a choice that completely turns your life around you will understand the power of this. If you want to change your life, you sometimes have to be bold enough to walk into unknown territory.

Be the best version of you that you can be. It is better to be an original you, than a cheap copy of someone else. If you want others to notice and respect you, you must be true to your self. If you’re just another copycat people will see it. Be honest and let people know how you really feel about things.

Don’t spend much time regretting the choices you have made in the past. By making bad choices you have gained valuable experience that allows you to make better choices in the present. You can’t change the past. but you can change the future. Everything you do today, every seed you plant, will determine how your life will be like tomorrow.

Be on fire!

Trackposted to Right Pundits, Outside the Beltway, Perri Nelson’s Website, The Virtuous Republic, Committees of Correspondence, DeMediacratic Nation, Right Truth, Maggie’s Notebook, Adam’s Blog, On the Horizon, The Pet Haven Blog, DragonLady’s World, Webloggin, The Bullwinkle Blog, The Amboy Times, Leaning Straight Up, Conservative Cat, Pursuing Holiness, Diary of the Mad Pigeon, Rightlinx, third world county, stikNstein… has no mercy, The World According to Carl, Pirate’s Cove, Blue Star Chronicles, Planck’s Constant, The Pink Flamingo, Dumb Ox Daily News, High Desert Wanderer, Right Voices, Gone Hollywood, and The Yankee Sailor, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

Stop for a moment and calm your thoughts.
Let go of your anxieties
and look around you

What do you see?

You see a world filled with beauty.
You see a life filled with Possibilities.
You see dreams being born,
being nurtured and being fulfilled.

Yes, there are challenges.
Yes, there is sorrow.
Yes, there is violence and hatred.

But more than these there is love,
there is goodness, there is joy.

The future is uncertain.

And that means there’s no limit as to how beuatiful and joyful you can make it.

Yet what you have is right now.

And right now is completely as it should be.

It is your time to live.

Think of what a precious thing your life is and how truly blessed you are to be experiencing it.

Right now.

Right now, any anxiety you might have about the future is only an illusion.

Let it go.

Let it fade away as the beauty and perfection of right now wash over you.

The best thing you can do for the future is to live with everything you have in the present.

Right now,
you are in the position to create real, lasting positive value for the world in wich you live.

How do you do that?

By following your heart.
By being the you that is really you.

You may have wandered away from your self.

Now is the time to come home.

You know in your heart that you’re here for a reason.
 
The pain you feel is that purpose, that reason for living,
as it constantly aches to brek free.

When it does, you’ ll be more alive than you ever could have imagines.

Breathe in the beauty around you,

the beauty and richess of being alive.

Is is your gift.

It is your fortune.

It is your blessing.

And it is yours, to live, to experience, to fulfill.

Right NOW
It is your gift.

Copyright, Ralph S. Marston, Jr.